I always thought that Love was available to me. I never doubted that. I think what I realize now though is that my interpretation of Love, what it could bring to my life, what it meant to me, how it could serve me, how I should and could give it and how it could make me feel… was very limiting. I grew up never really expecting much from the men in my life and I realize now that was a notion I was projecting and ultimately manifested into my adult life. As women we can carry these resentments towards men and eventually it creates a blockage, and starts to harden us.  We don’t allow ourselves to see or feel a true depiction of love and connection because we are so focused on lack and absence. We allow those feelings to control us, our thoughts, our behaviors thus prohibiting us from softening and seeing the possibilities, welcoming them even. Because we don’t know how. It feels unnatural, uncomfortable, uneasy. 

Many women I know grew up like me. Not knowing or understanding how to get in touch with your feminine. We weren’t taught how to just BE. We didn’t see any healthy reflections of honoring the divine masculine. And oftentimes our circumstances prevented us from welcoming that into our lives because we were forced into fight or flight mode. But we are designed to operate in the divine feminine of just being. But many of us don’t know how because our society values masculine energy. It pushes women to do more, be more, attain more and we look up and we’ve spent the majority of our lives in our masculine energy.  

So as we operate from this space of masculine energy (doing) not needing a man, and telling ourselves we don’t want one, or that we’ll be ok if we are single, we lose a sense of who we are as women, who we were designed to be, and we don’t allow ourselves to tap into the beauty of the divine feminine because we’re scared. Scared we won’t be loved, scared we will be rejected, scared we won’t know how to love, scared we won’t be enough, scared we won’t find our equal, scared we’ll mess things up, Just scared. And then that fear controls our lives and how we interact with people, how we allow ourselves to be seen. We tell ourselves we’re strong and resilient but we are women, we are designed to be soft and led. Being soft doesn’t mean we’re weak. The feminine is powerful because of what it is (being). Masculine is made powerful by what it does (doing). 

Men are drawn to women because of how the presence of a woman brings about the connection to feelings. But if a woman doesn’t know how to connect to her feelings, she’s guarded, distant...she most definitely won’t be able to connect with her man.  Feelings play the critical function in navigating soul of how you are experiencing things in your life. Feelings reveal what matters to you. How your energy creates and attracts love is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. So it’s equally crucial to be aware of the energy you exude. Most conflicts arise when both partners demonstrate dominant masculine energies in a relationship…This creates a constant power struggle between the two partners. Both want to be in charge, both want to be the decision-makers, and both want to have things their way!

The most stagnant relationship comes from two feminine dominant energies where neither is comfortable in taking charge or making sound decisions. It is when relationships get boring, there is no adventure, no excitement, and nothing of significance is happening. Energy is about taking up space. If you take up the masculine energy, you will repeatedly attract feminine men or you will push him into the feminine energy. That is what happened in my situation. I was forced to take on the masculine role because my ex was more comfortable in his feminine. So I could never feel safe knowing that he would lead me because he depended on me to lead. When the roles are reversed, and not by choice, a lot of resentment, animosity, blame, and anger can reside. Masculine and feminine is a spiritual concept that involves energy, and is not synonymous for man and woman but it’s important to be very clear about what role you feel comfortable in. All men have feminine energy, all women have masculine energy. So your energetic vibration is your choice. If it’s not your choice and you’re forced into this role, the relationship will never sustain.

Feminine energy does not lead, it follows. Once I began to understand the power of surrender, the gift of my divine feminine was revealed and I found the love of my life. Take the negative stigma out of the narrative. Following, or submitting to your man should be a conscious choice. You have the power to decide who you submit to, and who you don't. You can decide what is allowed, and what is not. No man can be a leader if you do not decide to follow. 

If you are looking to change your energy so that you can attract something new or be something new, take our Soul Care Assessment to jumpstart you on this path.